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Assumption Interuptus

Apostasy ( meaning a defection or revolt) is a term generally employed to describe the formal renunciation of one's religion, especially if the motive is deemed unworthy. In a technical sense, as used sometimes by sociologists without the sometimes negative connotations of the word, the term refers to renunciation and criticism of, or opposition to one's former religion (now includes belief systems). One of the possible reasons for this renunciation is loss of faith; another is the alleged failure of religious indoctrination and/or brainwashing. A common realization is that religion has been used to control and suppress the masses, while generating enormous revenue for the institution that sells salvation using fear, guilt and shame, the use of which is an abomination.

The original esoteric spiritual teachings upon which many were originally based have been obscured and perverted by egoic intention. Much of the doctrine and teaching has come to be seen as a fabrication of man, if not distorted, and not that of a divine source. Religious institutions that use fear and practice judgment are now considered by some to be the manifestation of the Antichrist, which uses fear as opposed to love as a modus operandi, depending on a popular ignorance for their existence. As predicted by the wise in the past, many have been fooled, and it has led to destructive fundamentalism, terrorism, and the religious right in politics. "Many analysts have found that conservative members of politics have been damaged by their association with the religious right and their attempt to align themselves with some of it's ideology in order to attract votes." This epiphany has given rise to a movement towards spirituality and away from the illusions perpetuated by many organized religions.

In conjunction with this new awareness I have sought the original insights, wisdom, and knowledge born of a spiritual source and divine intention, that were suppressed, destroyed and often claimed to be heresy by various religious institutions. Many of the ancient and modern scripts empower the individual, and imply a direct connection to omnipotent being that does not require another entity as an intermediary.

I have recently discovered the Agape Internation Spiritual Center in Los Angeles. I think this community is great because it creates a very strong positive reinforcing energy. One of love not fear. It teaches the principles that lead to becoming an infinite player in contrast to being a finite player. An infinite player plays with and outside boundaries, they play for the fun of playing, not to win, there really is no oponent with whom to compete. They know the winner and loser are really the same. Much like the way children play.

The finite player plays within boundaries and plays for the purpose of winning the game. They play finite games with an ending producing a loser and winner. Much like the games adults play.

Agape is a threat to the status quo because it reverses the conditioning necessary for a population of indentured servants. They teach a way that eliminates fear and judgment, unlike most fundamentalist religions, politicians, corporations which promote fear and judgment. Fear is the number one cause behind all what is not right in the world, all the conflict. Agape leads to one becoming infinite minded in a world of infinite possibility. In contrast to a world of the finite minded and limited possibility. Agape shows us that we do not need to lead the life of the mundane, as many would have us do to their benefit, hoping for a couch potato nation that does not question and does not grow. We have all been conditioned from birth with certain patterns, and beliefs that were created not for our benefit but those that taught them.

I have been liberated from that conditioning and bondage. I know I have found a huge unexplainable increase in synchronicity and have connected with the most amazing people and opportunity. It is through direct experience that truth becomes self evident. It is this we should trust.

I Know The Secret

I am thrilled to announce that The Secret was featured on The Oprah Winfrey Show Thursday, February 8th, 2007. This very special show dedicated entirely to The Secret will then reach the rest of the world over the coming weeks! Appearing with Oprah are Michael Beckwith, Jack Canfield, Lisa Nichols, James Ray and Rhonda Byrne. All of us who know The Secret would like to express our deep appreciation and gratitude to Oprah Winfrey and all of her staff for embracing and sharing The Secret in this special show that will touch millions of lives.

The Secret... bringing joy to the world.

Hayden

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One Woman. Two Worlds

Today I get an email from a friend, "I am getting married!" I chew on that for awhile and then email back with congratulations. Later, I get an email from another friend, "Sorry, I have been so busy. I don't want to be at work. They have downsized and I have to pick up the slack........." I email another friend who has been apart from her husband for two months asking how she managed when it has only been four days for me. "It was hard but I had the kids and my mom so I stayed busy."

All of the sudden it hits me: these conversations are illustrations of what I myself have been dealing with: wrestling with how I define and redefine myself as "you can be anything" competing with "you can't have it all." Living as a woman in the beginning of the 21st Century is a creative act. The task is to fit together the pieces of romance, children, and ambition to form a satisfying life. "Now it is time to find a career, but don't forget to find a husband. Hurry, have a child, the clock is ticking - but what do you mean, you're going to become a single mom or need more time at home? Don't loose yourself in your child or your spouse or you'll never find your way back - but what if you work too much, you'll ruin your kid. What will he say about your trade-offs? What's wrong with you anyway? Weren't you suppose to do anything?"

The conflicts I feel - struggles between autonomy and togetherness, pleasure and pleasing, ambition and being an affiliate - do not resolve. The preasure has intensified. No matter what I do the contradictions between a career or a traditional role get me right in the gut.

Chris

Since Chris left I decided to read myself to sleep like I use to do. So far, the reading makes me sleepy but I think I have slept a total of 6 hours since Saturday. As kismit or devine spirit or whatever would have it, the book I picked out to read must have been started about 2 years ago. Inside was a note-size piece of paper, writen on it was Chris' cell. phone number, his job title, two of his email addresses, a date of 11/2004, seven titles of previous posts from his blog (looking back they were entries I was most amused by - "Drunk on JD & Coke" for one), and the make/model of the car he totalled just a month prior to our first encounter. This is a piece of how I got to know him and I am keeping it. Kind of weird to take notes about someone but damn if I wasn't sprung over this guy. It goes without saying I still am. i just hope that since this post will be the first of me telling him this he doesn't now think I am a stalker.

Finding this piece of our history is so timely with him being away. I miss him so much................................................................ and now we are out of Kleenex.

It Was a Good Day

Chris has less than three days before he leaves for Los Angeles. I am going to make the most of those days.

I got to see Chris for lunch this afternoon after visiting my mom who was working close by - We didn't do anything other than have our vehicles serviced and make a trip to Costco for work slacks. Although I like his relaxed skater/Eddie Bauer look, I will like to see him dressed up, too.

I haven't stressed to much about keeping the house looking clean today - Lord only knows when I let it go those buyers will be knocking down the door to see it. The house by far looks cleaner and more put together than most houses I have ever seen on a home tour.

Chris and I now have a drop date for when the rest of the family will move to Los Angeles - with or without the house being sold. This gives me some peace of mind. I am also thankful that we will not be missing our "date-a-versary/birthdays).

I got a foot treatment last night and it was nirvana. I totally recommend Dahlia Spa (www.dahliaspa.com) in Seattle. They give a great massage and really set the mood, too. My feet are happy!

All and all I am feeling much better. I really need to learn to relax.